Our Blog - Bloody Clients : Part 01
Web Designing or Web Developing is an amazing opportunity to explore the society. Because we meet many clients who belongs to different social and cultural backgrounds. The main objective of a website is to provide 100% clear data and information without any physical efficiency. But most of the clients do not know about this. We have studied and studying about Design principles, Rules, Usability, Colours, Shapes, Icons, Fonts, Organizing the content, Browser Compatibility, Responsiveness, New Trends over many years. But most of the clients have failed to give a true value for our knowledge and efforts. That is the main reason for the lack of new designing trends and innovations in our country. Designing and developing a website is not an easy task.

Here are some interesting conversations that I have experienced in the past years. These conversations represent the true life of a Designer.

Client: Why did you put an icon like this?
Me: Sir, this is a Map Navigation icon. Because this is a tour operating website.
Client: No no. Could you remove it?
Me: But anyone can get the idea from the first look.
Client: I don't like it. Please remove it. You know what? There is a small pointer in that icon and it's like a downward arrow. It's not a good symbol. It's a Bad Luck !

Client: Can we move to a different Content Management System?
Me: I have used more than five Content Management Systems. This is the most easiest and user friendly system that I can recommend. Even a pre-school kid can operate this.
Client: But let's move to another one. Shall we?
Me: But why?
Client: It says HTML in the Web Address. I want a PHP website. Because PHP is powerful than HTML.

Me: Sir, please keep this link with you.
Client: How?
Me: Just copy the URL and save it in your local.
Client: No. This link is not available to save in my computer.
Me: What? Tell me the steps.
Client: I want to save the link in my desktop. I have copied the link and right click on desktop. But the "Paste" option is not visible.

Client: Please design two attractive banners about my websites as soon as possible.
We: Ok
Client: [3 Hours Later] - Only Promisses. But no work !!!!!

Boss: I have recieved an E-Mail from a client. I will forward it to you. It's a Screen Capture of their website. They have circled the changes they want.
Me: [After seeing the screen capture] - Sir, did you see this screen capture?
Boss: What's the matter?
Me: They have opened multiple tabs in the browser. The second tab says "Sex Places in Colombo".

Me: Sir, it will take couple of weeks to finish this task.
Boss: Why?
Me: I have to organize, resize, edit the colours and edit the width and height of these photos.
Boss: Ok. Take your time. They have selected only few photos for the website.
Me: Yes sir. Only few. Around 750 photos !

Client: What the hell you have done to my website? The whole layout has been changed.
Boss: No No. We didn't do that!
Client: Don't tell lies. Shame on you.
Boss: Believe us. We didn't do that. Danula did you edit this site?
Me: No.
Boss: Are you sure? Didn't do anything? Even to a single code?
Me: No sir.
Boss: We can't take the responsibility. We didn't changed this.
Client: Then explain this?
Boss: I have given you the access to the dashboard of this site? Right? Did you click any thing?
Client: Mmmmmm..... Yes! I clicked a button called "Editor" and there were thousands of codes...
[This person runs his own SEO company in Australia]

Client: Hey! It's been seven months. But still you didn't add our content to the website.
Me: Miss, actually you didn't give us the content!
Client: Oh really? Then it's ok !

Client: I took these content from another website. Please put these content to my website.
We: Are you sure? Because these content are not related to your website.
Client: It's ok. Just put these content.

Client: When I move the mouse cursor to a top of an image, a tooltip appears and it says "Photo Credits - www.website.com"
Me: These are not your images. We have to give a value and necessary credits to the original source.
Client: Could you remove this tooltip from all the images?
Me: It's not a good thing. It's a risk. If you caught, they might file a case and a fine.
Client: So?

Client: Put all of these photos to the Slideshow in Home Page.
We: Do you believe that site visitors will watch all of these photos?
Client: Why?
We: Because there are more than 30 photos !!!!!

Me: Sir, I have a good news and a bad news.
Boss: What is it?
Me: This is the best website that I have designed so far!
Boss: and?
Me: The client knows Wordpress and codings. He had changed all the interfaces!

Client: Hi! I have browsed the website using my mobile phone. But the interface is not similar.
Boss: That's the nature of Responsive Web Designing. The width of a Desktop screen is large. But the width of a Mobile screen is too small. There is no space to show the same structure in Mobile screen. As a result of that, all the elements in website are organize one after another in mobile screen. The main objective is to access the website very easily without any physical presence or viewing issue.
Client: But I like the Desktop version. I want Desktop version in Mobile version.

Boss: The client had asked to add these content as soon as possible. He is going to launch the website and there is a media conference too.
Me: Oh my god. There are too many content. When is he going to launch the website?
Boss: Today ! Afternoon !

Client: What is the web address of my website?
Boss: It's been three years. But still you don't know about your web address?

Me: Sir, I have received the client's changes list. They have requested to change the whole structure. We have to delete the sliders, buttons, forms, tab pannels and all the paragraphs in Home Page. Why is that?
Boss: Please wait. I will ask that from the client.
Boss: [Few minutes later] - That client had printed the whole website into papers and sent to his assistant to proofread. She had prepared the changes list from using those printed papers.

Client's_IT_Guy_01: I have sent you an E-Mail. Could you change the layout of the web pages, according to my E-Mail?
Me: Sure.
Client's_IT_Guy_02: Hey! What's happened to the interface? Who said to change that?
Me: Client 01 !
Client's_IT_Guy_02: No No. Please make the website according to previous layout !

Client: I told you, not to add any 3rd party images. Please use only our photos to the website.
Boss: Sir, this is not an actual web page. This is just an art work!

Client's_IT_Guy: Our website is not responsive.
Boss: No. It's responsive.
Client's_IT_Guy: No. It's not.
Boss: No. It's fully responsive. We have used a responsive framework. Also we have wrote fully custom codes for the mobile and tab versions.
Client's_IT_Guy: Maybe. But the site is not responsive. Browse the site from a mobile phone.
Boss: It's works fine.
Client's_IT_Guy: No it's not!
Boss: How do you say it's not responsive?
Client's_IT_Guy: Because it displays a different interface for mobile phones. It's not the interface that we can see in our laptops.
Boss: Please stop talking about Responsive. First refer the internet and learn "What is Responsive Web Designing"

Client: Could you set the text align as Justify? Left align gives a dirty look to the website.
Me: We can. But users might difficult to read these paragraphs. Specially from mobile phones.
Client: But it's like a Cycle Race!

Client's_IT_Guy: I don't like the theme of this website. Shall we change the interface? Also I want to change all the font types, colours, buttons. Page navigation is not nice. Please refer this link. I want the same exact layout for the Home Page. Remember! The same layout. Remove all these images and sliders. Add an Inquiry button to every page. I want a background image to the header section. At what time you can finish these changes? Now it's 10.00am. How about 2.00pm?
Me: Seriously? This site contains more than 25 pages and 2 device versions. We have designed this site over 6 months. Now you want to change the interface? Now?
Boss: Our work here is done. This is a completed website. There is no time to spare for this website again. This is a Wordpress site. If you want to change the interface, please change the interface from using the admin panel.
Client's_IT_Guy: Ok then.!
Me: [30 Minutes later] - Sir! That guy had messed up the whole Home Page.
Boss: Is that so? Now we can charge for the re-arrengments ;)

Me: Do we really have to code this Photoshop layout? I mean this is an outdated, non-user friendly interface. I can't do some of the parts. Because of the Technical issues.
Boss: Yes. That's true. This template was designed by client's coordinating secretary. She has no experience in designing. But the client wants her design. Not ours.

Client: Could you change this icon to another icon? Please google it and try to find a better one. My designer showed me some better icons from the google.
Me: So why don't you take those icons from him and mail me?

Boss: What kind of website is this?
Client: This is a website about an event?
Boss: There are around 15 pages in your website. You have delivered content for every page. But you have failed to give us the most important detail for this website.
Client: No idea. What is it?
Boss: The DATE of the event !

Client: Hey! Where are the updates?
Boss: Done.
Client: Done? Not done !
Boss: We have done all the updates.
Client: Then why doesn't those updates shows in the website? Please be responsible. Don't try to play ignorant. Do your task correctly.
Boss: It must be a Cache issue. Please clear the Cache in your browser.
Client: Ah good. Now it's ok!

Client's_Designer: I gave you some work yesterday. How's the progress?
Me: Can't do. Technically there is no way to implement that requirment.
Client's_Designer: Come on man! Don't say like that. There must be a way.
Me: No there is not.
Client's_Designer: It's an easy thing. I don't think it's a difficult task. Just google it and you will get many answers. It's not that difficult?
Me: I'm telling you. Technically it's impossible.
Client's_Designer: Google it and find a solution among the search results. That's easy noh? I don't think this is a difficult task. I think you can complete this within 5 minutes. It's not difficult as you think.
Me: If this is an easy task, then why don't you develop this website?

Me: Sir, according to the client's changes list, it says put another image in right side and reduce the yellow colours of every images. But there is no space to add an extra image and there are no yellow colours in these images?
Boss: She told me to complete that requirment couple of times.
Boss: [1 Week later] - I went to the office. Her laptop screen shows only red and yellow colours. Also the resolution is not a standard resolution. That is why she can see only yellow colours and more spaces...

Client: [Day 01] - Yesterday you said that you have completed the SEO part of the site? But still it doesn't show in the 1st page in google?
Boss: [Day 01] - Google is not belongs to us. So we can't do anything. It will take some time. Most of your competitors' have old websites. Because of that Google gives the first priority for their websites.
Client: [Day 02] - Still there is no progress?
Boss: [Day 02] - We can't predict about this part. It will takes couple of months.
Client: [Day 03] - Today also our site is not in the first page? Can't you do anything?
Boss: [Day 03] - We did our best and Google is not our company!
Client: [Day 04] - Still no progress?
Boss: [Day 04] - I told you, it will take couple of months. It's not that easy. Don't call us every day. Be patience.
Client: [Day 05] - Google showed our website among 1st page in those days.
Boss: [Day 05] - Yes. Then you have sent us an instruction list to SEO your website. Remember? You said to rename all the pages. That's the major problem. Now Google take this as a new site. We have to wait.
Client: [Day 06] - Still no luck !
Boss: [Day 06] - Please wait!
Client: [Day 07] - I think you didn't SEO our site well. If you did that, google will show our site instantly.
Boss: [Day 07] - No. It's not! There is a huge process in inside, that you can't see.
[Like this, this client had called us each and every day, more than 2 weeks]

Client: I have sent you a link. I want the same website. Put a background music to the home page like that. I want this website's font type to my website. Please add a scroll bar to every page. Like this site? I need the same structure for the section pages. It looks nice. I need 6 icons on the top of every page. See that website. I want these animations too.
Boss: The background music will distract the visitors. They will be confused and they will not be able to concentrate because of the music. This font type is not suitable for a website. The readability level is too low. We don't need a scroll bar in our site. We don't have enough content! That structure will reduce the loading speed. Because of the images. There is no space to add 6 icons. These animations are not suitable for your site. It will collapse in Mobile and Tab versions.
Client: But that website have all of these features. It's a good website.
Boss: How do you say that? What if their features and concepts are wrong?
Me: Why can't they give this contract to the designers of that website?

Client: This is a worst website !
Boss: Why?
Client: You have failed to designed the Blog according to our requirment.
Boss: Do you think your Blog is the most important part in your website? Do you think visitors visits your website to see the Blog page? We did our best. Your website has 30 pages. Also your website is a wordpress site. We have designed your site inside our own theme. Customizing a Wordpress site is not easy. We have worked almost 6 months to give this look. But still you are not satisfied?

Something to think...

By : Danula Randika Wickramaarachchi
From : Sri Lanka
Published Date : 2017.02.28

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